real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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