GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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