I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
