you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize