there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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