i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She announced her abortion via fbk
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
They took my balls.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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