how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so let's talk penis.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
