best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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