I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
