She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize