But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
