I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Randomize
