Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
