No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
