Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
