Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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