last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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