Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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