direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
