i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
