You're so nebulous sometimes
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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