There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
