Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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