are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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