Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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