He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
