I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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