his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
