Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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