It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
