turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize