Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
