So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
