Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Of course I have a pirate flag
be right there i have to get my cape
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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