we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
