I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
