So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
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