Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize