I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
