if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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