So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
