i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
