that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
