I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
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