We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
