i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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