i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
