Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
