I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
