If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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