my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So many bounce houses so little time
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
