I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
