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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Mom said you looked used
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
