i just sent this text using only my big toe
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
