If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
