Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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