I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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