ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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