no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
