i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
