Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
