So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
