TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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