You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize