I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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