my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize